Tipsy Talk

"You can call me 'bitch', you can call me 'slut', but don't you dare call me 'woman' you misogynistic bastard."

hehe. I was a little tipsy. Ya think?

Kinda fucked up, and random crap

So yeah. My quote for today is a little warped. Warped or not, it's definitely the most memorable of the day....

"Rape gets such a bad name. I have to admit that if I was raped, a little tiny part of me would feel flattered."

I'm not even going to go into details, but needless to say, this is a pretty fucked up statement.

On a lighter note, Red Lobster was freakin' awesome. I've never had shrimp scampi before. Holy crap that shit's good. We stuffed ourselves so full of shrimp- I think I'm good for a couple months. After you eat an incredibly large meal, the last thing you usually want to do is go clothes shopping, but I was right there by Old Navy so I stopped in because now that winter is approaching, it dawned on me that I have only one pair of jeans. I don't know what happened to the rest, but one will just not suffice, so despite my even more exaggerated protruding tummy, I decided to look around and actually bought a couple pairs. It's so hard to find jeans that fit me because I'm so short, but they apparently started coming out with short sizes- kinda like Express. Then I got home and found out about my car. Thank you God because my car is not completely wrecked. A rod is still kinda messed up, but it didn't break from the engine block (or something like that), so it's still completely drivable and may even last for a year or two or three more. Yay! I love my car- I couldn't even bear the thought of not driving her anymore! Oh, and dinner was great too because the Red Lobster in Crestwood is CRAWLING with hot ass guys. Not that I care all that much, but it's nice to be waited on my a stud every once in a while. Too bad hot little Darren was only 20... Well, enough procrastinating. Back to this damn paper. :(

Shrimp

Just got home from school and now I'm getting ready to meet Julie for some all you can eat shrimp at Red Lobster. We are way too freakin' excited about this. I never realized I felt so passionate about shrimp. Whatever, at least I'll get a short relief from the piles of homework that are consuming me. Tonight I have to write two papers, two lesson plans, and study for a test. Good thing I'm off work tomorrow so I'll have the entire day to get stuff done too. I miss the weekend damnit. I finished reading Redburn this morning. That really was a great book. I've never read any Melville before (i.e. Moby Dick), but I really like his work so I might start. Anyway, time to get dressed and prepare my tummy for dozens of little critters. Yummy.

Bludgeoned

"No matter how bad life is, at least I'm not bludgeoned."
Chrissy and I thought this was pretty damn funny.
Last night was kinda crazy. I actually went out (which doesn't happen too often), and I must admit I had a really great time. Chrissy came over and we had a few beers, then we went to The Mack and drank some more while we waited for Sandra and the rest of the bachelorette party to show up. Most of the night is a complete blur, but I do recall bits and pieces. This guy named Vince, who I kept calling Eric for some reason, turned out to be really cool, and is the sole reason I made it home in one piece! He was very sweet and drove me home at what turned out to be 5:30 this morning. Oh, and for some reason he kept smelling my finger because it smelled like garlic, but I still can't figure out why because I haven't touched garlic or anything containing garlic, so I don't know. Anyway, I remember getting kicked out of The Mack at closing time, which should have been my clue to go home and get some sleep, but instead we (Chrissy, me, Vince, and his buddies) went to Barney's. We started talking to this chick who was sweet and funny as hell. She and I had a pretty good time. So then I realize that Chrissy is gone. I'm sure she offered to drive me home since she was my ride, but I don't remember that at all. Next thing I know it's like 3 and we get kicked out of Barney's so we go to...Vince's house? (I think) and I almost had to get in a fight with some girl who was a total bitch. Oh well. It was a good time. Except now I'm exhausted and completely hungover, so that sucks. No more drinking for Katie for at least a month. One too many tequila shots I think. But a fun time nonetheless. I needed to let loose a little bit.

Writers Block

So I'm creating a lesson plan that I have to teach to my Thursday night class. It has to be a direct-instruction lesson (basically, a lecture), and I have complete writer's block right now. It has to be focused on my content area obviously, which is high school English, and while I have lots of ideas, I can't seem to focus on any one idea. And the "microteach" as my professor is calling it can only be 15 minutes long! I can't teach anything significant in 15 minutes! How can I teach any sort of literature, poetry, or even a grammar lesson in just 15 minutes?!?! My favorite idea so far is to do an introduction to Romanticism, in which I'll use Power Point and basically just lecture. I'm thinking of pointing out the similarities, or rather, having the students point out the similarities between Romantic art and Romantic literature. But I can't focus on a novel or any long piece, so I'll have to stick with poetry. Maybe Wordsworth. He's the epitome of Romanticism. So then I can show one of his poems, read it, and pair it with a Romantic painting. Then I can discuss the characteristics of Romanticism, give the time period and a brief summary of what was happening in the world during that time, and then relate all that back to the painting. My thoughts are just all jumbled. Then I was thinking that I could just do a lesson on grammar, maybe discussing the difference between the five sentence structures, or maybe the difference between gerunds and participial phrases. That could fit into the 15 minute time limit, but that's pretty damn boring! And then I was thinking about teaching how to effectively add description in creative writing, but that would require less lecturing, and more activity-type stuff. I have no freaking clue what I'm doing. This thing has to be complete and ready to teach by Thursday, and I'm getting kinda worried....

Katie's Quote of the Day

I think I'll start posting my favorite quotes of the day. Just funny, random stuff that I hear (or say) in conversations. I guess I'll just start with one from last night. Long story short....my sort-of ex came by- unannounced and uninvited. Blah blah blah, he was being a prick as usual, yada yada yada, he tried to hug me, etc. He says to me, "Oh come on Katie-Kate! Don't be mad at me!" So I say, "I'm not mad at you, I just don't like you." Classic.
I have yet to hear something funny or memorable today, however, but the day is young. :)

This parenting shit really is hard!

Alex got suspended. Well, not suspended...well, yeah he did. He got punished to two days of in-school suspension. Apparently, he can't stop talking in class. Oh, and the other day he decided to stick a screw in Ms. Jackson's electric pencil sharpener and completely broke it. What am I going to do with him? He is such a great kid in so many ways; he is quite possibly the smartest kid I've ever known, and I'm not just saying that because I'm his mom. He really is so incredibly smart for his age. He's six, in first grade, and can read mommy's college textbooks with virtually no problem. He was adding and subtracting ten-digit numbers when he was 4. Several teachers have said he should be tested and possibly put into a gifted program. He's also so funny! He really cracks me up. Family and friends are constantly entertained by his fresh, energetic, (and sometimes very sarcastic) sense of humor. He is also quite possibly one of the funniest kids I've ever known. And he's so incredibly athletic. I'm serious- this boy could easily be the next Albert Pujols or Tiger Woods. He creams every other little kid at baseball; he hits homerun after homerun without even breaking a sweat. He's awesome at soccer, basketball, and he's really starting to perfect his golf skills. We're going to the driving range this weekend, and I guarantee he can hit better than a lot of adults (myself included). He's also really outgoing, very social, and can fit in with just about anyone, anywhere. So my dilemma is this: why does he get in so much trouble???? I'm really at a loss because I have tried just about everything I can possibly think of. I've tried the time-outs, spanking, grounding, etc. To get technical for a moment, I've tried both positive and negative reinforcement, which only seem to work in the short-term. Punishing him doesn't seem to help all that much either. After this suspension thing, I grounded him from video games (which he loves), tv, and playing with his friends for 2 weeks. I thought that last part would really get him because he's in love with Camryn from across the street. (She has a total crush on him I just found out- how cute is that?) I don't know. Is that enough? Too much? I really don't have a clue. The only thing that seems to instill any sort of fear in him is the threat of possible spankings, which, as a mother, I HATE to do!!! But sometimes I just have to. I don't really know where to go from here. I want to be hard on him, but it's really hard to do that for some reason. I guess because he's my little baby and I love him more than anything in the entire world, and I hate to see him unhappy. But at the same time, to make him the man he needs to be, he needs some serious discipline so he can get his shit together. I think I just have to suck it up and be harder on him until he gets it through his head that he can't misbehave at school. Aaagghhh!!! This is just so hard! And VERY frustrating!

My Newest Obsession

With "Hell's Kitchen" on hiatus, I wasn't sure how in the world I would get my Gordon Ramsay ripping-people-a-new-asshole fix! Well my friends, "Kichen Nightmares" debuted last night and I couldn't be more excited. It's not quite up to par with "Hell's Kitchen", but wildly entertaining nonetheless. Gordon Ramsay is the shit. I would love to meet this man in person. I'd have him cook me a kick ass gourmet meal, and then watch him go off on people. Does it get any better than that???

The Good Ol' Days

I reminisce on a fairly regular basis, back to the days when life was less....stressful, monotonous, tedious, and dozens of other less-than-flattering adjectives. Everyone says that high school was the best time of their life, and of course when you're in high school and you hear that nonsense you think, "Well if THIS is the best time of my life, please shoot me now!" And then of course, as we grow up and enter the "real world" and we have to worry about college, jobs, kids, etc., we realize that all those people were right. Now I find myself saying that same exact sentence to kids, who are undoubtedly doubting (hmm...that sounds weird) it, just as I did. Anyway, thanks to Jason humoring me in Lit class today, I felt a sense of the good ol' days, if only for a moment. I passed him a note in class, and I was totally laughing at myself as I did, but it just felt so good to feel like a kid again! I don't know, it's sounds weird, but it was really nice to be so childlike and immature again! I guess it's been a long time since I've felt anything but stress. I can't wait for my 10 year reunion in 2010. Wow...that's really soon. Well, at least I'll have a real job well before then. Hopefully an intelligent, funny, charasmatic man on my arm too. That'd be nice. :)
Wow. It's already 11:30. I better get my ass in bed. Man I'm gettin' old.

Bored.

An advisor from UMSL just called me. Every time I get an unexpected call from someone like that, I expect horrible news. Like some technicality has screwed up my plans, or I failed to do something I was supposed to do. Fortunately, however, the news was great. He just wanted to inform me that he's getting together the internship/student teaching applications and that everything is fine with mine. Well, just one thing- he said they still need my transcripts from my last semester at Meramec to prove that I got my Bio and Poly Sci courses out of the way, which I did, so that's no biggie. So all I have left is a grammar course, an American Lit survey course, and College Algebra. That's the one I'm dreading. I've always despised math, and I was never any good at it. When I started Meramec, I took the math placement test and they put me in Pre-Algebra. Then Elementary Algebra, then Intermediate Algebra. 9 math credits (and several hundred dollars) that count for absolutely nothing. The only thing that matters is College Algebra, which I've finally worked my way up to. I was so horrible at math, so I do feel somewhat accomplished that I've done fairly well in those math classes. And to my surprise, my second highest score on both my ACT (which I finally took back in April) and my C-Base was math. Anyway, a couple measly classes (and the current semester of course) are all that stand in my way of graduation. Well, and Student Teaching of course, which is completely bogus. The concept is good, and one cannot underestimate the importance of the experience, but it's pretty much bullshit. It counts as 12 credit hours, and not only do we have to teach full school days, 5 days a week for 4 months without pay, but we have to pay THEM! This makes absolutely no sense to me. And they keep saying, "We don't recommend holding down a job while doing your student teaching." Uh...sorry, but I don't live at home with mommy and daddy. I kinda have a kid to support. Anyway, that's beyond the point. At this point I'm just rambling, but I felt the need to post a blog about something. It's been awhile; I feel like I've been neglectful. Whatever. I don't even know.

Good news for Katie (for a change)...

Not only was I able to turn in my internship/student teaching application today (it was due last Friday), but when I was there the advisor had me fill out my final UMSL paperwork- my applications for graduation and teacher certification. It sounds like just paperwork, but for me it symbolizes 5 long years of hard work finally paying off. Things are rocky, bumpy, and definitely not easy sailing with me, but at least the important things are falling into place. I can't wait to start student teaching and interning! I'm so excited!!! My schedule will continue to be insane for the next year or so as it has been, but I'm almost finished. I'm almost a college graduate. To a lot of people I'm sure that's not a big deal. You know, those kids who are supported by mommy and daddy, who maybe work some measly part-time job while they're in school, and whose weekends revolve around frat parties and keggers. It has been a long, tough road for me and I can't believe I've almost reached the end. I don't want to sound like a martyr, and I know I'm no Wonder Woman, but it has been tough. Really tough. Putting myself through school, while working full-time (or close to it) all while raising a kid....I'm damn proud of myself for not giving up. I'm proud that I have the drive and ambition to reach for my goals no matter how far away they seem.

Esmee

I ran across this girl on YouTube, and she is I N C R E D I B L E!!!!! I'm a fan for sure.

Fears

The closer I get to graduation and my teaching certification, the more nervous I'm becoming. I've been substitute teaching for about a year and a half or so, which in itself presents a huge set of complications and learning experiences, but to know that I will be an "actual" teacher in the near future is really stressing me out. Teaching is my passion and always has been, but at the same time I'm scared because the lives (and minds) of young people will be in my hands.

I'm a fairly academic, scholarly person. I get good grades, I love to read and write, and I truly and deeply value education. When it comes to teaching curriculum, I'm not too terribly worried. Through my experiences substituting and thanks to my many education and methods courses in college, I feel pretty confident in that area. I've learned tons of effective teaching methods and activities that I will incorporate into my classroom. The part I have trouble with when subbing is classroom management, or, in simpler terms, keeping the kids in check. I'm not very aggressive, I'm fairly soft-spoken, and I'm incredibly gullible. I've let kids take complete control and walk all over me in the past. And those were elementary and middle school kids! I'm going to teach high school, where I fear I will feel much more intimidated. I'm sure that subbing and teaching my own classes are very different. When kids have a sub, they think it's time to play. I'm sure that I will establish structure, mutual respect, and control in my own classes, but I still fear that I will be manipulated very easily by my students. When I subbed for an 8th grade class at Ferguson Middle School, one of the girls asked me where I'm going to teach and what grades. I told here I'm going to teach high school in the city schools, or possibly Wellston or some other inner-city area, and she laughed and said, "Girl, they're gonna work you!" Everyone laughed, and I know she didn't mean that in a mean way, but part of me knew she was right. I really need to work on my confidence so I can take command of the classroom and not let it take command over me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to be one of those teachers that's on a total power trip or anything. I want to build meaningful, trusting relationships with all of my students. I want to be able to have fun, joke around, and be the teacher they look to for love, support, advice, and compassion, but I still need to establish a sense of authority, which is definitely my greatest weakness. It's definitely worrying me, but I guess like with anything, it will work itself out as I get more practice and gain more experience.

I "Googled" Myself....

My boredom has apparently reached an all-time high. I just googled myself. Apparently, I'm a triathlete and fashion model, a heroic war news reporter, a talent show singer, and a landscape artist. I thought something about me would come up, but apparently I'm not news-worthy.

Eerie Serenity

I'm at work right now, and it is so quiet and still. Dark, menacing clouds are looming overhead just outside the huge front window, there are no customers in sight, and a lone radio is playing in the background. I'm munching on edamame, folding towels, but mostly just daydreaming. It's a strange, calming feeling here today. Maybe it's the impending storm, or the fact that the phone isn't ringing off the hook as usual, and the door is not constantly beeping to signal entering customers. The quiet of the store mixed with the booming thunder and bright flashes of lightning is creating an eerie atmosphere. It's times like these when chills go up my spine. Completely and utterly alone, with nothing except my thoughts and the storm to keep me company.

They Grow Up So Fast!

Today, I decided to let Alex walk about halfway to school. Usually I'll drop him off right in front and watch him enter the blacktop playground where he'll mingle with his friends while awaiting the morning bell. He's six, and a pretty smart, saavy kid, so this morning, I changed up our morning ritual a little bit and I let him out on the corner and he walked the rest of the way. It was a straight shot- no streets to cross or anything, and there were plenty of other kids and parents around, but I was just so nervous! I secretly drove down the street to keep an eye on him, but then he spotted me, waved and sort of rolled his eyes as if to say, "Geez mom, I'm not a baby!!!" I'm definitely not one of those annoying, uptight, over-protective moms, but is was a heartwrenching feeling to know that he really isn't a little baby anymore. He's growing up so fast. I remember when I would cradle him in my arms and rock him to sleep, and I definitely remember the "terrible two's", which were indeed terrible! I remember him watching Sesame Street and even Teletubbies, giggling at the television, and now he loves nothing more than watching Tiger Woods and Albert Pujols, cheering them on and dreaming of the day when he'll be a pro golfer or star of the Cardinals. I remember reading him bedtime stories, watching him drift into sleep, and now he can read just about anything you put in front of him. He graduated from tighty-whities to boxers, has his first crush on our 7 year old neighbor Camryn, and has one by one begun to lose his baby teeth. It's a crazy feeling to know that my baby is now a boy, and before I know it, he'll be a man. In many ways I'm fortunate to have been exposed to so many shitheads throughout my life. Perverts, assholes, cheaters, losers, etc. Because now I'll be more aware of what to teach Alex NOT to be. I am a 25 year old single female raising a little boy who will one day become a man. It's a lot of pressure, but also an honor, to know that I am responsible for raising him to be the kind of man this world needs more of: a man of integrity, morals, respect, and who makes God his top priority. Now I just need to find a man like that for me!!!

"Halloween"

I just saw the new remake of the classic, and probably greatest horror movie in all of cinematic history, "Halloween". It was rather strange. I was entertained, yet somewhat confused. It was gory as all hell, so those with weak stomachs would definitely want to stick with something a little more tame. It was littered with plot inconsistencies, but I'm assuming that was their plan, since sticking to the original would have been very easy (and probably quite boring). One thing I'll say is that Michael Myers had a really fucked up childhood! The actors were pretty good (none of whom I've ever seen before), and there were several jump-out-of-your-seat moments that scared the living shit out of me and Julie. Overall, I'd give it a B-. It could have been better, but then again, it could've been far worse. (Like Hostel II, which I was SEVERELY disappointed with). So, in short, not exactly Oscar-worthy, but a decent way to spend my Labor Day afternoon. Definitely better than doing homework. Speaking of, I better get my ass in gear because I have a lot to do before Wednesday.

Poetry by Katie

Love's Thorn

Like the dew which glistens amongst the grass,
A soft teardrop creeps silently from amidst the chaos,
Slowly meandering its way from home,
Wondering where it has come from,
And why.
Beckoning it to remain locked away,
The pain is too strong and it cannot control;
Cannot answer the nagging question of
What has become of the little one,
Now grown.
Like the bud of the rose, yellow as the sun,
Ripe and in bloom,
But only for an instant is the heart content.
For decay is inevitable; Death is awaiting.
So is the holder of this tear.
As the thorn which marks this rose,
The tear makes its mark on me,
Momentary joy, but eventually
Destiny succumbs.
The grass no longer glistens,
And like this heart,
The rose has wilted to dust.